i am not ready yet
This year on my birthday I began a project that I call:
365: What Could Possibly Happen?
It is a project that I have wanted to do for some time now. Today is day 84, which means that there are 281 remaining. I have shared some of the moments from this project on my social media channels and at one point I thought that I would share something on those spaces everyday. However, I have realized that I wanted a place where these moments could be collected, allowing for the creation of a more cohesive story.
I have a daily practice, part of which includes a prayer in which I ask to be shown the path of my purpose. For a while now (6 years being quite a while) I have continued to receive the message that part of my purpose lies within writing. I write everyday within the pages of my journal and there is writing connected to almost all of the art that I have created. I believe that I am supposed to be finding different ways in which to share it.
My first language is visual. The video above is a moment from my morning walk yesterday. A moment in which the beauty of this precious and magical world that we have been so blessed to live in and with filled me with reverence, gratitude and awe. These are everyday moments for me and they assist in balancing the more challenging parts and pieces of being a human in this world.
The writing in my journal this morning began with purpose (it often does) and then moved on to thoughts about tension. At 51, I am realizing that I carry a significant amount of tension in my body. Places where I am tightened and braced for impact. There are of course reasons for this, however much of this is old patterning and cellular memory. Even the new experiences and reasons that cause tension, well, I am learning to meet them differently. I am inviting them to have a seat at the table. I am not pushing them away or pushing them down or ignoring them. I am doing my best to be present with them at the moment of their arrival.
I made the decision today that I would share some of my writing here everyday. That continuing not to share was actually a point of tension. This is a way of honoring the messages that I have continued to receive when asking about my purpose. This is also a way of getting out of my own way and the tendency to say that I am not ready yet.
It is my hope that those who find their way here will also find messages and clues that assist them on the path of their unique purpose. That perhaps we can all begin to trust that we are more ready than we know.
I will be back tomorrow. Until then, I hope your eyes land on beauty that nourishes your heart and soul.