There are Beautiful Beings who Come Into Our Lives and Teach us Much About Ourselves and About Love
I sent a message saying that I was most definitely interested in taking her on. I heard nothing back for a couple of days and then received a message that she had already found a home. I thought this was interesting as my intuition is usually not wrong when it comes to connections and relationships with animals, but all right I thought; everyone is wrong about these things at some time or another. About a week later I received a second message saying that the person who had originally taken her had brought her back and asking if I was still interested in taking her on. Yes, Validation! Sometimes you do just know.
So we quickly got ready and drove to pick her up. She was a hot mess. She had worms, a respiratory infection and an infection in both of her eyes. She was on deworming medication, antibiotics and eye drops and was oozing from almost every orifice. Abandoned near a farm, she had somehow found her way to a neighboring house. The woman who had written the post then began feeding her on her porch. She explained that over the years she had taken on many strays but currently she could not take on any more; although she wished she could with this particular one. The man who had previously taken her, had brought her to the vet for an examination. After assessing her, the vet was unclear if she would ever get the use of her eyes back. If she did, it would be very limited in its capacity. From the photos that I had seen, I had suspected that this might be the case. What I had not expected were her massive and glorious paws with eight beautiful toes on each magnificent foot. She came equipped with grounding rods that looked like snowshoes and they were marvelous.
We took her home and I immediately began nursing her back to health. We named her Disco Kitten and set her up in my studio where she could begin to learn to navigate one room and adjust to her new home. She was given a special bed to sleep in and was pampered beyond belief. It was amazing to watch her navigate her world. She had an indomitable spirit. Everyone who came into contact with her was enchanted by her. It is my experience that every being has its own unique energy signature and hers was a deep well of love.
We took her back to the vet for a follow-up appointment after she had finished her first round of antibiotics. There are not many cats that I have known who are pleased to be put into a carrier and taken to a vet office. When we returned home from the appointment I brought her back into the studio, opened her carrier and held her in my arms. As I held her I could literally feel the gratitude pouring off of her. She clung to me while covering my face in kisses. The energy that she was emitting was so filled with love that I began to weep. In that instant I understood that she was teaching me how to embrace my own vulnerability. Not only was she teaching me to embrace it, but she was also showing me how to do so with love and deep appreciation. At that moment, on that particular day, I felt something old deep inside of me begin to melt.
Her sight never did come back. Time went on and Disco Kitten learned how to navigate her world without the use of her eyes. She played with toy mice, got on and off the bed by pulling herself up and lowering herself down backwards, and even learned how to go up and down the stairs! She continued to navigate and open hearts.
My husband (we were married about 6 months after Disco Kitten came into our life) also succumbed to her amazing powers and fell in love with her indomitable spirit. I would say that he became her favorite but what I really think is that she offered everyone the love and understanding that they were most in need of. Everyone who met her fell in love with her. She was irresistible.
When she was about 3 months old I saw her have a seizure for the first time. More veterinary visits, including a holistic vet, resulted in placing her on a completely raw food diet and the use of an herbal tincture to assist in treating and managing her epilepsy. This approach effectively managed her seizures for quite a few months and then they started to increase in frequency and in severity. She was placed on medication that she took twice a day and we were again given a window of time. Eventually, there came a cluster of seizures that were too damaging and that she was unable to recover from. Over the following two weeks, it became clear that the seizures had done irreparable damage and her quality of life had been significantly compromised. Fourteen months after she had arrived in our life we made the decision to let her go.
On the day that we made the appointment at the vet’s she again offered us her amazing love. For that last and final day, she spent time with each of the special people in her life. She gave each of us a moment, letting us know that she acknowledged the relationships that we had shared. For that brief and shining moment, she was once again the indomitable spirit that had so beautifully entered and blessed our lives.
There is a difference in the grief that I am experiencing around her death. I think it is a result of the quality of presence and the way in which we experienced each other in life. We met each other exactly where we were at and were grateful. There was no no need for our relationship to be other than it was. We loved each other by simply being fully who we each were. I miss her sweet energy. Her playfulness and her gigantic paws. I think I will for quite some time to come. I do not have regrets or wish to pull her back to me. Just as our relationship was fully in the present moment, so is the grief of her passing. Perhaps this is a strange word to associate with grief but it feels clean. Beautifully clean.
Rest in peace you amazing beautiful creature. Thank you for teaching me lessons on love, vulnerability and the preciousness of every moment. It was a privilege to be known by you. Until we meet again.
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